I just knew.

This is a very short post, but I feel that I need to share my feelings.

I've never been one to get hit-over-the-head confirmations from the Lord about anything. Ever.

I'm rarely one to get the warm, fuzzy feeling.

But when I made the decision to place David into Dave and Amy's arms, and I prayed to know that it was true...

I just knew. While my heart was breaking, I also felt an incredible peace settle over me. For the first time in months (possibly years), I could think clearly. I felt strong.

I knew long before I asked and prayed. Most birthmothers do. But, had I not prayed and actively sought the confirmation I so desired, I may not have been able to stick with my decision. Since that time, I have learned to rely on the Lord in all that I do. That's not to say that I DO always rely on the Lord (still working on that..), but I know that it is absolutely necessary.

Almost one year ago, I met Dave and Amy for the first time. It has been a beautiful, albeit difficult, journey. And I am so grateful for that journey.