Hoping to Adopt - Wade and Brittney

So here is how I met Wade and Brittney...

It's Friday, about 6:00 pm, at the 2010 National FSA Conference. There I am, chatting away with the ladies at my table and enjoying my stuffed pork, and I notice a girl from another table staring me down. She turned and whispered to her husband, then stared at me again. I diverted my eyes, thinking 'uhh... k.'

Then, I decide that I need to go to the bathroom. The entire trip across the conference hall she's looking at me. What the crap! Who does this girl think she is?! Well, I made it to the bathroom, and when I walk back in she's glancing at me again. By this time I'm thinking, "Okay, I know I'm looking a little rough right now, but c'mon..."

Not five minutes later, someone taps on my shoulder. I look to see who it is, and it's creeper herself. Okay, and for the record, creeper is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. She smiles at me and says, "I think we both know David and Amy?" well... uhm... okay, she wasn't creeper anymore. Turns out she recognized me from my picture in posts I'd made on Amy's wall. So I get all teary-eyed and we start talking about how they went through infertility together and were in the same stake in Logan and all that good stuff... the reason she'd been looking at me was because she 1) wasn't sure if I was who she thought I was, and 2) was trying to get up the guts to come talk to me. Which I found hilarious. Well Brittney's husband, Wade, had finally talked her into saying hi. She gave me a pass-a-long card, and we went on our way.

But, the thing that completely caught me off guard was how infectious her smile was. She was one of those people who just glows from goodness. I wanted to just hug her. For real.

Wade and Brittney have been waiting for five years for their first baby. Please keep them in mind. :-)

Wade and Brittney's Profile

 Brittney is a 5th grade teacher

 Wade is a Production Manager and studying graphic design

Just thinking.

I'm not good at the post-a-day thing. But I'm an adoption advocate, and I've been talking about and supporting adoption every day all month. So I'm trying.

Tonight I started thinking about how I'm doing - emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I'm an emotional person. It's just part of who I've become. I cry when something tugs at my heartstrings. That's not to say I start bawling in public. I usually save my tears for when I'm in my car or alone in my room. My girls at group see me cry every week. They are good tears, though. I cry when I talk about any part of my adoption experience. I cry when I talk about Dave and Amy. I cry especially when I talk about Bo. Someone who touches your life so much is bound to have that much of an impact. I was only his mom for two days, but those two days gave me enough memories to last a lifetime.

This holiday season is going to be a little hard. I told my girls at group the other day that I don't know what I was thinking last year - putting all of my important events on or around holidays. The day after Thanksgiving, I met Dave and Amy for the first time. I told them I was placing with them on Christmas Eve. The day before New Year's Eve, they went to group and dinner with me, and met Lynn for the first (and only) time. How can I top that?! I guess every holiday from now on will just have to be a competition. I fully expect Christmas this year to be difficult. I miss Lynn. So much.

I do have some bright spots for Christmas this year. Sometime during the Christmas holiday, I'll see Dave, Amy, and Bo. I'll spend the major holidays with the Kraaima side of the family (Lynn's side). I'll get to go snowboarding this year. My mom and I will get to spend a lot of time together.

This was mostly a post about what's going through my mind. I'm nostalgic. Here's a link to the song that goes with a book I gave Bo at placement. The entire time I was in Florida, it was stuck in my head. (Other Florida stories to follow, now that I've written them in my journal).

Snuggle Puppy Song 

And as a side note, I think this song is adorable.


This Ain't No Love Song

Sometimes, life is so busy...

that you have to double-dip. :-) The aforementioned Miss Angie featured my story on her blog yesterday. I am so excited! Here it is, for your reading pleasure. Also, you should read around on her blog. She has a lot of good reads.
Click here for my story on Angie's blog

Happy Adoption Month!

Lovely Miss Angie

I met Angie on the WWW when I was helping a friend search families for her little girl. I have been blessed to become friends with Angie, and I hope to meet her SOON! Below is her beautiful posts about the anticipation and longing of parenthood. After that is an AMAZING giveaway!

Clayton and Angie's Blog 

It's a beautiful day to love adoption. <3

27 minutes (and kickoff to National Adoption Month!)

I wrote this last night, but figured it would be an alright kickoff post. Happy National Adoption Month!

So right now my computer says I have 27 minutes of battery left. That means of the 1 hour and 54 minutes left of my flight to Dallas, I’m going to devote a whole 22 minutes to a blog post. 

Where do I even start? This week has been more amazing than I ever dreamed it could be. Not many birthmothers get to visit their children in a tropical paradise. I am so blessed. I don’t know how I came to deserve this. I feel like I can never be grateful enough for the situation I’m in. 

When I said goodbye today, I kept thinking, “How will this ever get easier?” … It never will. I don’t think it will ever get easier saying goodbye to my baby. Even when I have children of my own (that is, children I will raise), I will always consider Bo my baby. He is David and Amy’s son, but he will always be my baby. 

I’ll admit, I’m a total mess right now. I’ve been (unsuccessfully) fighting tears since earlier this afternoon. Holding Bo and kissing him, telling him how much I love him (and maybe he knows and can feel it), and just staring at that perfect little boy was so bittersweet. Thankfully, I’ve learned how to recognize when to say goodbye. I hate drawing out goodbye. 

So, here I am. In a few hours, I will touch down in Utah. I will run to my mom (yes, I’m 21 and I still run to my mom!), collapse in her arms, and together we’ll check the baggage claim. I’ll tell her everything I can remember on the drive back home. Tonight, I’ll sleep in my own bed. Tomorrow I will wake up, get ready for school, and start my first day of nail tech. I’ll be on the hair floor for a few hours, then I’ll go home to my house. So will be the next seven weeks. Then, sometime around Christmas, I’ll see David, Amy, and Bo again. I’m already starting a countdown. 

Something I thought about as I took off, though, is this – If I barely know Bo, and I feel an incredible longing to be near him… How does my mom feel when her baby is gone? If this is anything like how my mom feels when I’m away from her, I do not thank her enough for the unconditional love she has for me. 

One fun thing David and Amy told me was this – Bo only kisses them, and me. He gives this awesome sloppy, wet, full-mouth kiss that just melts my heart. Besides his parents, I’m the only one he gives those to. My heart feels like it could burst. He is truly the happiest little boy, and I am so grateful to be in his life. I am so grateful to David and Amy for allowing me to be a part of his life. I would not (emotionally, mentally, and spiritually) be where I am today if I weren’t for their trust and love for me. They trust me to be a good example to him, and to never try to undermine them as parents. 

I made a promise at placement that he would always be proud of me. He will. I will never do anything that could break that trust David and Amy have in me. I know now how important families are. I know how important the timing for families is. 

Amazingly, I also know that I will be a good mother. I won’t be perfect, and I won’t be extraordinary, but I know how to love. I know what it feels like to love someone so much I would do anything for their happiness. I will be a good mom… someday. 

Throughout this next week, I’ll post fun little stories from my trip. For now, I’ll just post a few pictures. They say it better than I possibly could. 

 On our way to the airport. All smiles! 

 I made a fleecy owl for him - and he loves it! 

 David, Amy, Bo, and I. So amazing that we could all be together.

 Kisses!

 Giving kisses back. 

 She's like a sister and best friend.

 Still sleeps like a stinkbug!

 Sexy momma and her son at the beach!