My name is Sterling, I'm 22-years-old, and I am the birthmother to the most gorgeous little boy in the world. I started this blog to share my experiences, thoughts, and help myself move forward after placing my sweet little boy. If this is your first time visiting my blog, I invite you to read my story (top of the left column). Feel free to comment with questions or requests. If you follow me, I'll follow you!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

a new birthmother??

I recently read/watched one of *Joniece*'s posts about what happens when a new birthmom is added to a family... that is, when the birthmother's "couple" adopts again and has a new birthmom join their little triad. Joniece and Nicole both placed their babies into the same family, and are now very close to each other. I've thought about it a lot recently, especially since Dave and Amy are in the process of adopting again.
   From the beginning, I've been excited for little David to have siblings. I grew up with five siblings, and I can't imagine not having a big family! But I've also been fearful of what will happen when a new birthmom is put into the balance of things. Will everything still be perfect? Will I start to feel resentment? I can honestly say that I don't know. I know it will be one of those jealousy things when Dave and Amy have my birthmom sister visit, and be there when they are sealed, etc... But will it honestly be a bad kind of jealousy? I get jealous when my siblings are able to visit each other and I'm not, but it doesn't result in  a bad relationship. It's just something I can't do at the time.
   Here's the skinny... I know David will have younger siblings. I know Dave and Amy are going to be just as amazing to another birthmom. I also know that our relationship with each other may change through the years, but I know it will always be strong, no matter how many birthmoms are involved! I also know that I will love and adore the new birthmom, simply because of the sacrifice she will make. I remember how it feels, and I remember how deep the pain goes. I will love her and I will do everything in my power to be close to her. I don't know who she is yet, but I love her already. She is giving my little boy siblings!!!
   Who knows... maybe I'll have the means, when that time comes, to be able to visit when Dave, Amy and David are sealed to the new little spirit. My hope is that regardless, I will someday be able to wrap my arms around the new birthmom and tell her how much I love her, how much her sacrifice means to ME, and how I know she will LOVE her relationship with Dave and Amy.

   I have a different perspective... I know that. I welcome comments, but understand that I do know other birthmothers do not feel the same way that I do - which is normal. But I'm moving forward, I'll be getting married to my best friend and love in July, and I will still continue my relationship with my little boy's parents. How blessed am I? Pretty darn. David is loved, beautiful, and has a mom and dad who are always there for him... and he will have a wonderful relationship with me and with Bradley. Yes, my sweet Bradley has already become friends with them. And it is perfect.

      Oh... by the way... I'm getting married! see *HERE* for details! (feel free to follow!)


  1. Thank you for being so open about you feelings of possible jealousy. It is hard to admit jealousy or the possibility that we might become jealous. These are real feelings and real issues that come up in adoption. I am sure that the addition of another birthfamily and another adopted child bring some uncertainty to the mix for everyone involved. It seems like you have an awesome attitude about the benefits the possibility of a new sibling will bring to your son. What a lucky little boy to have so many people that love him so very much! Thanks for sharing.

  2. I used to think that I would be a little jealous if another birthmother was involved with Samantha's family. Her older sisters birthmother isn't around so I'm really the only one. As it become less and less likely that Samantha will have any younger siblings I am sad that I will never get to experience a relationship like that with another bmom. I hope you get to, and I know you will be wonderful, cause that's just the kind of person you are.

  3. Ahhh!!! Congratulations on your engagement! So happy for you guys :)


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