My name is Sterling, I'm 22-years-old, and I am the birthmother to the most gorgeous little boy in the world. I started this blog to share my experiences, thoughts, and help myself move forward after placing my sweet little boy. If this is your first time visiting my blog, I invite you to read my story (top of the left column). Feel free to comment with questions or requests. If you follow me, I'll follow you!

Thursday, July 29, 2010


Congratulations to Ashlie, my give-away winner! Not only is she a blogger, she has some SUPER CUTE blog backgrounds/blinkies/etc. that are perfect for the chic blogger! See her stuff {here}.

(Ashlie, you'll be getting your tutu bow holder soon! It's funny because we actually only live about two miles apart...)

I have a story to tell, but I'm not using names for privacy/legal issues that could arise.

I'm active in my unwed mothers pregnancy support group at Layton LDS Family Services. I have met some of my best friends there, and I have learned so much about myself because of this group. Each girl has affected my life in different ways. We've supported each other, cried to each other, laughed with each other, and mourned with each other. We share pictures of our babies, share our sorrows, ask for advice, and grow as we watch each other make difficult decisions.

I met a beautiful girl who we'll nickname Jane. Jane is a beautiful girl, with a career and stability. When she found out she was pregnant, she and her boyfriend decided they would get married after their baby was born. She began making plans, and did all of the things expecting mothers do - she bought oodles of supplies, put together a baby room, took great care of herself, and through it all continued to come to group. It's always nice to have the mix of parenting mothers and placing mothers.

Jane first started coming to group when I was 38 weeks pregnant. She saw me right at the very end, but we honestly weren't close at all. The girls I'd become close with had all stopped coming to group by that time, and I hadn't connected with the new girls yet. I delivered, placed, then resumed going to group. Over the next few months, I saw Jane grow (metaphorically and literally) and I could sense the incredible love for her son. I knew she would make a great mother, and I was excited about her happy ending to a difficult situation.

At 37 1/2 weeks, Jane and her fiance ended things. He became a bully, pressuring her to let his parents adopt the baby, then threatening to "sue" her for custody... all of those icky things we hear about happening with birthfathers (which, unfortunately, has given birthfathers a bad reputation... and it makes me sad). Less than two weeks until her due date, Jane has made the incredible decision to place her little boy. Her strength and courage leave me in awe. After planning to parent, and envisioning a child in her arms, she listened to the spirit and is giving her little boy even more. Although I haven't used her real name, please pray for her. Please pray that she will continue to have incredible strength, and to remember her  incredible love for her son.

"Birthmother" is no longer just a word. It has so much meaning to me now. I hear it, and I think about these wonderful girls and women I've met, who've helped me through my difficult times. They have lifted me up when I needed it, and now I hope and pray that I can do the same for them. I hope they all know how very loved they are.

(PS - I'm totally going to the National FSA Conference tomorrow. Are you?)

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