My name is Sterling, I'm 22-years-old, and I am the birthmother to the most gorgeous little boy in the world. I started this blog to share my experiences, thoughts, and help myself move forward after placing my sweet little boy. If this is your first time visiting my blog, I invite you to read my story (top of the left column). Feel free to comment with questions or requests. If you follow me, I'll follow you!

Friday, December 3, 2010

quick before it's gone

Whenever I have an amazing experience, I feel this incredible urgency to blog about it before it's gone.

Even before writing it, I know it will sound lame. But tonight was... powerful.

For the past 5 years, we've gone to Michael McLean's "The Forgotten Carols". We used to do Cottonwood High, then Logan, now Ogden. The show is a little different every year, and it's always so exciting to go.

Tonight, I initially was not in the mood for it. My mind was on a million other things. Then, the very beginning hit me full force. A simple tune I've become so familiar with because I've been listening to 'The Forgotten Carols' for years now. The sound of a flute, clear and strong, rang out above the crowd. I got chills.

Although the story is about a woman who has never known how to love, and has never believed in Christmas of any form, I was able to feel the story personally. The message was of Christ's existence, his miraculous birth, and the importance of the love of God in our lives. I cried many times during the show. The music was overwhelming, and I felt like it was piercing my heart. It was not a musical masterpiece but, for me, finding deeper meaning in music and words I was already so familiar with was amazing.

At the end of his performance, Michael McLean has everyone join hands ("I believe in linking!") and sing the line, "we will be together forever someday" over and over. Never before has that meant so much. To my still-young, 21-year-old heart it was comforting and emotional. I thought of David, Amy, and Bo. I thought of Lynn. I thought of my own future. How blessed we are that we can be an ETERNAL family unit! How beautiful is the promise made to us that through repentance and righteous living, we will never be without those we love after this life!

God's plan of happiness is for each person. Individually. I was a little taken aback a few days ago when I thought of how much I love Bo, and the thought that immediately followed was that it is nothing compared to how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I can't imagine any greater love than what I have for Bo... but God's love is greater. It is the greatest.

Michael McLean told us tonight to imagine the Savior in any way we wanted to, whether it was as an infant or as the King of Kings. I know exactly how I picture my Savior.
I find a lot of peace in the idea of my Savior holding me in his arms. He does not want me to stay lost. He will seek me, if I seek him. He knows the pain I feel, and the desires of my heart. He knows, he understands, and he loves me. He is my shepherd.


  1. I love this! What a great post!

    (Oh, and I also love The Forgotten Carols.) :)

  2. Love this! I was there as well and we didn't even run into each other. It was a great show and such a good message!


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